How to get past self-pity

"I've had better days."
Who hasn't said that phrase to themselves? Unfortunately life comes with bad days and they come for free as well.
On days like these I always notice that when you switch on the self-pity mode a domino effect of 'bad' things will just continue to happen.
Very stupid things actually that can really piss you off. Like getting stuck behind a heck with your sleeve or the loop of your jeans where your belt goes through.
When you get agitated too much about these things, trust me, the day won't get any better.

Now I know how it is to be a woman so that was easier said than done. We come with great emotions assisted by our beloved hormones. That have the generous ability to pay us an extra visit once a month. When this happens the most ordinary things can suddenly look like something that has been created on the dark side.

Pictures by Xaviera


I don't want to blame everything on our hormones. There just simply are bad days in everyone's life that they should accept. And there are some healthy ways to do that instead of throwing that pity party.

Face your feelings

It is helping me to say "I am having a bad day." Simply allowing that you are feeling sad or cranky.
Don't question yourself if you are in a fair position to feel like this. You just are. And no you're not the only one suffering, so stop self pitying. Be aware that you have to get through this.

Recognize the self-pity red flags

When focusing on only the negative things you will feed the self-pity monster inside of you. And that beast will grow up, fast. When you're mentally strong you know the signs of this negative focus and you know what to do to release these tensions. So pay attention to these red flags before you find yourself in that downward spiral.

Turning your negative thoughts into challenges

There they are again, your negative thoughts. Are they really that bad? Prove yourself wrong and turn it around. Instead of saying to yourself "I can never do this or that again." Say "I will find a way that will work, challenge accepted!" Worrying consumes a lot of your time. Think of what you can do with that time when you start looking for solutions immediately.

Practice gratitude

These are so contradictory. Feeling sorry for yourself and then being grateful for it?
Listen to how this sounds, "I feel so sorry for myself I don't deserve this." Obviously you don't deserve this, so that question isn't even relevant. When mentally strong, you see that you actually have more than you need. Take a deep breath and be grateful for the air you're breathing. It can be that simple.

Complain to gain sympathy

Don't! It is okay to discuss a situation with your loved ones and they can respond with understanding. But never complain to gain sympathy. Take the action that is needed to make things better. You'll know what to do.

Somethings can't be solved

You can loose a loved one, your job, have health issues. You name it. Those things just happen. Doesn't make them any less sad. But you can't control them either. Keep a realistic eye on the situation. And again shift your focus onto the things that you CAN control and reach out to them with both hands as optimistic as you can.

Mental strength needs training, just as physical strength does. In both cases it is about ditching the bad habits.
And repeat, repeat, repeat to train the ability to regulate your thoughts and managing your emotions.

When you really can't see how to leave the pity party, there might be something more going on. 
Then please don't feel addressed to this. Because sometimes you really get lost in the dark side and you won't be able to see the light anymore. Seek for help when this is the situation!

do you throw pity parties?

1 comment(s):

  1. Lol thank you Sabrina! Made me smile :D. I'd love to come at that party haha. Thanks for commenting gorgeous. Goodday! LOVE



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