Why are your goals resulting in failure?


'don't forget to stop and smell the roses'

It is like a never ending hype, setting goals and finding quotes that go like 'set your goals high and never stop till you get there' or 'nothing worth having comes easy'.
Pfff, wow. That definitely puts the pressure on the entire goal already and you haven't even started yet.

Let's take a look at the bigger picture of life.
Why are we in such a hurry? When you come to the point that you wanted to reach what is next?
I don't think it will ever be (good) enough. Because you will need something else to chase.
This doesn't sound like happiness to me at all but kinda exhausting.
I am not saying that setting goals is something you should stop doing. It is okay to have logical directions in your life.
But it looks like everything has to be bigger, better and stronger and is never enough.


Pictures by Xaviera 

So when we decide to create a goal it all starts of very well.
But can you believe that almost 90% of the people 'fail' to achieve there (new year) goals and intentions.
How come, when this is such a popular thing to do?

WILLPOWER

When setting a goal we rely on our willpower. And let that be the thing that will fluctuate at anytime. So that is not very reliable at all. We all know that feeling, one day you can take on the whole world but the next day you can experience that everything seems to go wrong.
Willpower will cost energy, but that energy is temporary. See it as pushing something forward. You will never be able to keep on doing that without some energy from the opposite direction, like pulling or traction. (GHA that rhymes).
That traction should be your vision. A vision that excites you and will always be there because it is your purpose.
Let that lead you and you will find the right HOW's.

TIMELINE

Once the goal is set I think people tend to hold on to that end result instead of the process. You will lose your focus on HOW you are suppose to get there and the possibility to 'fail' will become reality. Things rarely turn out the way that you expect them, so every time you focus on that end result you'll feel disappointed.
When you enjoy the process and focus on the single steps you take it won't be so hard to hold on. It won't even feel like holding on, it will become a habit.

NEGATIVE GOALS

Most of the time we formulate our goals in a negative way. For example, we say I don't want to weigh this much (wanting to lose or gain weight), or I don't want to work late again. The connotation of these goals are negative. Your focus is on what you don't want. Try to formulate them in a positive way, like I'm going to live healthier or I'm going to spent more time with my family or myself. Your purpose (the WHY) should be positive.

PERFECTION

To stay in the losing (or gaining) weight subject, because I think this is a common challenge for a lot of people.
Here is the next thing I want to point out.
Saying that you should lose or gain weight to yourself is automatically saying that you're not good enough. This self judge thinking will effect your self acceptance in a negative way. This will not provide you with the right energy and will feel like you've failed already.


I really find more peace in focussing on the moment and taking it step by step. When a step gets skipped I don't punish myself or see myself as a failure. Also I really pay attention on how I talk to myself. It is something I WANT and has nothing to do with obligations.
It is a process and repeating will eventually result in habits. It becomes a way of living. Your way and nobody else's.
Remember that it's not a matter of winning because you are not a loser.

why do you think goals tend to fail?


3 comment(s):

  1. my goals are to not make goals.. but a list of MUST HAVE TO-DO. The term goal makes me put things in a pile and it builds up to be an over whelming list of.. MAYBE I CAN DO... instead of MUST, WILL, and CAN DO's. Hope my comments make sense. Lol. Im still waking up...

    xx Sabrina | www.gypsytan.co

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great post, Xa! Setting goals is way too easy. I set so many at the beginning of this year and haven't looked at them since! Why? Because I put too much on my plate, put too much pressure on myself and didn't think of the journey. It's so important!


    Chrissy x
    www.chrissylilly.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thank you so much Chrissy for reading and replying! Yeh than it all washes over you like a big flood I guess. Too much to handle indeed. Making more realistic goals is an option. Step by step :).

    X

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