Do you know how to maintain your friendships?

'true friendship isn't about being there when it is convenient. it is about being there when it's not.'

Quality time with yourself is just as important as quality time with your friends. And friends come in lots of different ways. You can make new ones, you can have old ones, they can leave you, they can come back. It doesn't mean that the longer someone is in your life that it automatically is a better friend. After all actions speak louder than words. For me it takes time to consider somebody as a close friend because I don't trust easily. But I am also open for new friendships and can really appreciate somebody that shows dedication. I will definitely put my trust in those people because I am dedicated as well. 
Just make sure you choose quality over quantity when it comes to friendship.


Pictures by Xaviera

This brings me to maintaining a friendship. 
I think there are some things that you need to be willing to do for a lifetime friendship (or any relationship).


BE HONEST

Honesty is key if you ask me. Being honest isn't about being cruel. This is about setting aside your ego because giving each other feedback can be such an addition to your friendship and will help to get to know yourself even better. 
And by being honest you are opening up and make yourself vulnerable and that will definitely strengthen your connection. 
It also can prevent those sarcastic and cynical comments towards each other that will definitely won't help your friendship. Just choose compassion over cynicism. 

REPAIR MISUNDERSTANDINGS

Being friends for a long time will show you someones weaknesses and strengths. Make sure you don't misuse that knowledge of each other. 
But of course we are all humans with our own truths so there will be conflicts and that is okay. Just don't waste any time by getting rancorously. Apologize and acknowledge when you're wrong. We have all been there or seen it by somebody else. People that ignore each other for such a long time. What a waste! Put away your pride, explain, listen and try to focus on what is key so you can move on.

DON'T TAKE THEM FOR GRANTED

Of course you have your obligations in life and some are way more busy than others. But that is not a reason to stop showing gratitude. A good friend shows interest in who you are and what you struggle with, but it is important not to let the relationship become one-sided or to become self-centered in your focus. I don't find it necessary to speak to each other everyday, but when you do, make sure to engage in acts of kindness and consideration that are focused on your friends.

DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS

We all create expectations in any relationship. Just take into account that your point of view isn't always the same as your friend. But don't let that difference define the friendship. Figure out what your friend is thinking instead of assuming. Like I said, we all have our own truths and believes. Don't be afraid to ask your friend to explain their way of thinking. It just means that you want to understand. A good friend will definitely take away any doubts and opens up to you.


My friends are my equals. 
They don't feel the need to brag, show off or compete. 
They show their true selves and not a mask. 
They give me compliments and feedback. 
They feel comfortable and are not afraid to be vulnerable. 
They love to talk and listen.
They don't lie.
They are family.



2 comment(s):

  1. I'm not the best at maintaining friendship. I always need a certain alone time, and although I can still say that I have friends even when I'll be gone from their lives for months...I really feel like I need to work out on my ties every now and then before it's too late :/


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  2. Are you sure you're not the best? I am an introvert that's why I said that quality time with yourself is just as important, maybe even crucial, as quality time with you're friends. You don't need to have contact all the time. Just make sure that when you do you put energy into it, the same as you would give yourself. And these days a friend is just one facebook or instant message away. So easy to let somebody know that they're on your mind :)
    Thanks for commenting.

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