Why I'm not feeling lonely anymore when alone

'you cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with'- wayne dyer

Being alone can mean a lot of different things. Everybody has it's own reality about the word, 'alone'.
Some people may think it will come across as anti social or boring. That sounds so negative to me. I can't relate to that because I really use my time alone. It is something I choose for and what makes me very self aware. It will definitely help you to get in touch with your own emotions and reflect on them. What will make it also easier to function in your relationships.

When being lonely, you can feel disconnected, empty and hollow on the inside. You can experience loneliness for many reasons. A divorce/breakup loss which is very common. Or maybe passing away from a beloved one. And also a very painful one is feeling unloved in your relationship. Even when you are with someone you can experience loneliness.

Pictures by Xaviera

Why I don't feel lonely (anymore) is because of the self love and independency I developed.
I've learned and still learning to take responsibility for my own happiness.
Did you know you can't say happiness without saying penis?

This automatically brings me to my first point on being alone but not lonely.


This is a great example for what can make you happy.
Laughing out loud at my own dirty humor state of mind jokes, when being alone feels really good.
Try laughing a lot, whether it is something that happens on a TV-show, in a movie or an inside joke that just popped up in your mind. Don't hold back and laugh about it in your own presence.


You are living here and now and that is where your focus should be. You don't have any influences anymore on the things that happened in the past. You only have influence on your thoughts (about the past and future). Looking forward is okay but still you don't know what is coming. Right now you can choose what to do and how to do it. I use meditation a lot right now. It really calms you and connects you with just yourself in the moment that you are in. And that is the moment you have to deal with. Try not to spill your precious energy on things you can't change and negativity.


Don't surround yourself with negative people. -- 'They have a problem for every solution'
This will infect your own vibe and eventually you will become one. You will feel what is right for you and leave that person to it's value.
I don't mean that you're not allowed to feel anger or down. You feel what you feel, period. But a negative environment will not make it any better.


Plan a date with yourself. Indoors or outdoors. For starters indoors might be better if you're not used to this. Make yourself a snack, pick a movie or an episode of your favorite TV-show and sit back. Let your phone be and put it on silent. Sometimes I just put up some music and dance all around my house making the most unexpected moves probably and that is so joyful. At night light some candles and make yourself comfortable with a book, blanket or meditate for a few minutes.
For going outdoors alone, go to the woods, beach or a park. Don't be afraid, enjoy your company and date yourself. This will feel a bit uncomfortable at first. But it is worth to try.


Learn to love both sides of the coin. Of course the sun feels warm and comforting but that doesn't mean that the rain is a big bad wolf. Enjoy the rain as much as the sun. Go out jump and in the puddles. Afraid to get dirty? Wash it. Afraid to get wet? It is just water it will dry. You have to be a little flexible to enjoy these things. Choose your options and make yourself comfortable. Allow yourself to feel bummed embrace that part as well and have a good curse.

Eventually when spending time with myself made me a calmer, more fun and warmer person to be around with. Because I know how to enjoy myself and share this with others. And just because you see most of the people in pairs or groups going to a movie, have a picnic or going out dancing or for dinner. That doesn't mean this is something you can't do on your own.
This is 100% freedom for me when you're able to do this.

Life is a scale and you have to balance all the time between the time for yourself and the time you spent with others. So that it won't result in neglecting yourself and your loved ones.

why do you think people are afraid to spent time alone?

4 comment(s):

  1. Love this sentiment! I think people get caught up so much in worrying about what other people think or feel about them instead of figuring out and accepting what they think/feel about themselves. Being comfortable in your own skin and with who you are is probably the hardest but most rewarding struggle we can go through as humans. [=

  2. i love being "ALONE" but people think of me as being really social. I am really friendly and social when I am with people but I prefer quality me time over crowd just because i don't want to be alone.

  3. Sounds like a good balance to me. Being alone indeed doesn't mean you're not social. I have very few but very close friends and family and I can be my best self because of the quality time I spent with myself. So I can relate to your comment a lot. Thanks!

  4. Thank you Emmy.
    They do don't they. You have to call yourself back from that thought now and then and focus on your own again. That indeed is a struggle but worth it all. Thanks for your vision on this.



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