10 Things you don't owe anybody

'don't worry about what i'm doing, worry about why you're worried about what i'm doing'

Do you sometimes have that feeling to prove yourself because you worry about how someone else might see you. That social pressure and know it all type of people.
First of all it doesn't matter how someone else sees you but that is a subject for later.

This is about when you get judged for being in whatever situation is possible or some choices that you make.

Changing my mindset and attitude to some people definitely helps me to feel more in touch with myself and more secure. After all it is my life and I can choose with whom I share everything with or explain everything to.


Pictures by Xaviera


1. YOU DON'T OWE ANYBODY AN EXPLANATION FOR YOUR LIVING SITUATION

It doesn't matter if you live at your parents, alone, with 5 cats, with your ex or roommates.
You've made that decision and the situation is just like it is. It is important that you can deal with your living situation.


2. YOU DON'T OWE ANYBODY AN EXPLANATION FOR YOUR LIFE PRIORITIES

Whether you want to make a career or be a stay at home mom or dad or travel the world. Priorities are very personal and only you have to live by those of your own.

3. YOU DON'T OWE ANYBODY AN APOLOGY IF YOU CAN'T BE SINCERE ABOUT IT

Of course you don't want to hurt anybody and your intentions can't always feel right for another person. But that is where you can communicate about it and explain to each other what you meant. This will create some understanding but it doesn't mean you have to be sorry for what you did. Stand by your opinion but don't loose respect for that other persons opinion.

4. YOU DON'T OWE ANYBODY AN EXPLANATION FOR WANTING ALONE TIME

See it as a date with yourself. It doesn't mean you don't want to hang out with someone. Just not right now because you have plans with yourself. Nobody will question you if you say that you have made plans with someone else. Well this isn't any different. Enjoy that precious time alone.

5. YOU DON'T OWE ANYBODY YOUR AGREEMENT ON THEIR PERSONAL BELIEFS

It is nice that a person wants to share their interest with you. But sometimes you don't share the same. And that's fine. But you don't have to explain or defend your beliefs. Of course you can discuss about them to see how someone is thinking, but certainly don't agree if you can't find yourself in it.

6. YOU DON'T OWE ANYBODY AN EXPLANATION FOR YOUR PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Nobody should care, and they usually don't, about how you look. If you grew a beard, gained or lost weight, changed your hair do. Don't let people say you have to look like something you didn't choose for. If they don't like it, look the other way. It is just an appearance.

7. YOU DON'T OWE ANYBODY AN EXPLANATION FOR YOUR FOOD PREFERENCES

There are so many different tastes. You don't have to explain why you like the food you like. Or if you are a vegan, vegetarian or carnivore. Eat what you want, when you want and how many or how less you want. Your choice. You are dealing with it.

8. YOU DON'T OWE ANYBODY AN EXPLANATION ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE

Why should anybody care who you sleep with, how often or if you don't have any sex. I sometimes get the idea that the subject sex is such a taboo. Therefore it somehow automatically is an exciting subject to gossip about. Someone elses sex life is none of your business.

9. YOU DON'T OWE ANYBODY AN EXPLANATION FOR BEING SINGLE OR TAKEN

That question, why are you still single?? But never the question why are you still together?? I think both question are so nugatory. Whether you are single by choice or not able to find the 'right' person. It is your life and in this case not always your choice. But it is how it is. Again, you don't go ask around for an explanation why somebody is in a relationship. And when they are in a relationship. Don't judge them on who they are with. It is there choice who they want to be with. As long as their happy.

10. YOU DON'T OWE ANYBODY AN EXPLANATION ABOUT YOUR MARRIAGE OR CHILD WISHES

Of course we can't choose to have a child, we can only try and make one and let mother nature decide. But whether you want to start a family or not, you decide which path you take. The same about marriage. It doesn't define anything about your relationship. You and your partner should be on the same level and that is all that matters.


Let me be clear that I don't behave like this to everybody but I can choose who to share and explain my life to. And even then I don't have to. But hey, that is my choice. And paying attention to these things made me a lot more confident about my life and helps me accept all the other lovely people I am surrounded by. Strangers and loved ones!


Do you feel that you can be honest and open towards other people?



5 comment(s):

  1. Wow, it's like you read my mind, I actually feel like I need to explain everything to some people 'cause I don't wanna be misunderstood :/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am actually sorry to hear that Marian. You deserve to feel confident about your opinion and your friends and family will accept your choices and won't judge you by it. Try to find out for yourself why you have the urge to not feel misunderstood. Take care XX

      Delete
  2. Everything is so accurate! We tend to give explanations for everything and to everyone even if it is not necessary. Regarding no. 7, everyone tends nowadays to be a little bit pushy with food preferences and I do not understand why. If you say to someone that you do not like olives(my case) they just turning into drama queens and ask you several times something which you already said.
    I think your 'you don't need' blog post should represent a strong manifesto for those who are fenced around ugly personalities.

    x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, what a lovely comment first of all!

      Yeah we all have our own way of being tactful. And there are definitely different degrees in that.
      Me for example really focus on that my opinion is an opinion. And I hear so many people giving their opinion and forcing it upon you as a fact.
      I think it is about formulate and intonation when speaking our mind.

      Delete

 

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